Hi, my name is Phil and this is Philmschool...
And wouldn’t you know it, I’m late for class. My first post was planned for September of 2021. In it, I was going to explain the purpose of this blog as a sort of pseudo film education. An unofficial never-ending course for myself, first and foremost, and for anyone else wanting to follow along. My hope was to watch and write about one film per week, that’s fifty-two a year if you’re doing the math. With each film, I’d sift through its many frames and find nuggets of inspiration; smartly written dialogue, creative transitions, a well-timed needle drop. All would be fair game. I was planning to divulge how I hadn’t gone to film school (not that I have anything against it) and how I don’t believe it’s the only way to learn film technique or film history. Lastly, I was going to discuss how the goal of the blog is to learn from filmmakers about the craft of filmmaking by watching the work they’ve put on screen.
Did you count how many times I used the word “film”? If this was a drinking game, we’d all be facedown in a toilet. Oh, and I had this very passionate declaration written concerning my belief that “as a writer and aspiring filmmaker it’s not only wise to study the films of both living and non-living directors but is a requisite if one aspires for true excellence in the craft. It’s a necessity to learn the language of film and to constantly seek to increase one’s knowledge of the artform”.
Inspiring right? The blog entry was going to end with some cheesy, enthusiastic call to action like, “now let’s sit our asses down and watch some movies!” Triumph! We did it!
Six months later and here we are…back at post numero uno. Only twenty-six entries behind. If this was an official course this would be the moment right after you’ve crested the peak of Mt. Panic and are now engaged in a the steady downhill descent of acceptance. Too late to withdraw. Grade is beyond saving. Class failed. Retake next semester?…if it’s open.
I learned something in the half a year I spent dragging my feet. A hard and fast rule that all writers, nay, all people can learn from. Ready? Because here it is:
Opportunity will knock. Make sure your ass is ready to answer the door.
Oh, you’ve heard that one before? It’s common knowledge. Yeah well it’s not commonly practiced. At least it wasn’t by me. See, being ready requires discipline. A quality which I evidently lack, as most obviously demonstrated by my current less than flattering form.
You know the build. Muscled arms and shoulders that give way to a not-so-firm chest and a band of flab that circles the midsection like the rings around Saturn. Those pudgy problem areas that just won’t seem to go away. Well they can and will but it requires one thing. That’s right, you guessed it…discipline.
An opportunity arose recently in which my lack of discipline was placed in the spotlight. I had an actual chance to write and get paid for it. Yeah, I know, the fucking dream. And sure, it wasn’t precisely what I wanted to be writing but rarely do people start their careers by doing the exact thing they want to do. They start doing something similar and work their way to “the thing”. I had the chance to do exactly that…and did I mention I’d be getting paid for it?
The first steps were all routine; apply for the position, email the hiring manager, provide a few writing samples…don’t worry, I had a couple spec scripts to share. But when I was asked to provide them with something more akin to what I’d be writing on the website, something more “journalistic”, I had that thought that all habitual procrastinators have; “you know what would’ve been perfect? That thing I started but never finished”.
I couldn’t even mention it. What would I say? “Hey check out that awesome header with nothing below it” or “Do you like that logo, I designed that logo”. Yeah that doesn’t exactly produce the feeling that I can get the job done.
So in that moment of bitter realization I decided two things. The first is that I would restart my film blog, with the same purpose as before but this time I would hold myself accountable to do exactly as I had planned. And sure as someone who lacks discipline I’ve often said the words “this time” before. But it doesn’t change the fact that “this time” I have to not only mean it (because I always do) but allow there to be no alternative. The second was that Philmschool would be a little different than how I originally imagined it. It would be more than just a personal film education but also a journal of an aspiring screenwriter living in Los Angeles working through the daily struggles, managing self doubt, and navigating a world that neither cares if you fail or succeed. A blog about me, Phil, doing the damn thing. My mom once told me that “wherever you go, you will always be right there to meet you”. She meant it as a loving but cautionary warning. I want it to mean something different, I want it to mean something good.
So again, my name is Phil and I welcome you to Philmschool.